.45 Caliber Headspace

[…] I’m normally a pretty brave guy. I would fight six dudes if I had to; six very short, effeminate dudes with heart and equilibrium trouble; but “mice problems”? The thought of this made me afraid like a little girl.

[…] As one who appreciates help in being directed to things I may enjoy, I am saddened to know that I can no longer find this help on Amazon, unless fool enough to accept guidance from people that watch Grey’s Anatomy. […]

[…] I don’t carry a phone because it makes it too easy for the sleeper cells I infiltrate to zero in on my location after I’ve sabotaged their operations. This always makes chicks both impressed and afraid for my safety.

Just wanted to share this lovely T-shirt a lady friend surprised me with.

[…] I feel bad when random internet searchers stumble on this site and don’t necessary find the information they were looking for. So in an attempt to create a better user experience for them, I thought I would try to field some of these misdirected search requests as best I can.

[…] Only testicle pulsing specimens of the female form would surround me at all times, and they would fix my cocktails and sing my praises while dancing in a celebration of the greatness that is I and my millimeter.

[…] I got my drink and noticed it was laced with Spanish Fly, so I had nine more. When nobody tried to violate me after two hours, however, I started getting restless watching Telemundo.

[...] When we finally reached the city I call, “The Place I’m Stuck”, and my ointment had run out, I waved good riddance to Pepé and rubbed the scar on my side, feeling warmly reminiscent of the kidney I lost in Guatemala