[…] I used to make a practice of littering my personal information around in the hopes of having my identity stolen. My identity hasn’t been doing me much good and if some Nigerian con ring wants to assume the insurmountable debt and FBI record, they’re welcome to it.
Flagged for ‘bin laden’
Party Like It’s 2011
[…] I don’t carry a phone because it makes it too easy for the sleeper cells I infiltrate to zero in on my location after I’ve sabotaged their operations. This always makes chicks both impressed and afraid for my safety.
Oswald, Bin Laden, the Sun, and Other Fictional Characters
[...] I’m discovering that all kinds of thoughts have been waiting to pass through my head. I don’t like these thoughts. They’re not crazy thoughts, like “Maybe I should stuff the cat in the blender today.” No, these are just heavy, meaty thoughts.
