[…] I haven’t been to a doctor in years, aside from semi-regular STD screenings that are necessary for me to continue having promiscuous sex. Even to get these screenings, I must first prove that I am high-risk by bringing photos of myself having IV drug sex with rabid monkeys.
Flagged for ‘drugs’
Time at Jumbo’s Clown Room
[...] After having been involved in a number of these “New Years”, I am now able to confirm that this is actually an ideal time to wipe your slate clean of the prior year’s sexual harassment and lude behaviour accusations and pretend to be a better man. This pretense will last approximately two months, at which time I will have reached my threshold of endurance for these unwelcome lifestyle changes.
