[…] I haven’t been to a doctor in years, aside from semi-regular STD screenings that are necessary for me to continue having promiscuous sex. Even to get these screenings, I must first prove that I am high-risk by bringing photos of myself having IV drug sex with rabid monkeys.
Flagged for ‘eiffel tower’
The Rich, Purifying Waters of My Millimeter
[…] Only testicle pulsing specimens of the female form would surround me at all times, and they would fix my cocktails and sing my praises while dancing in a celebration of the greatness that is I and my millimeter.
