It was just about 6 months ago now that I was in the process of transcribing some old stand-up routines to story form (like this one on the Clap), because I don’t do much live performance anymore and thought I might be able to salvage some of the material to be utilized elsewhere. Where else, [...]
Flagged for ‘life’
Taking Back Slut
[…] I’m more concerned about a girl that isn’t a slut. This always means she’s hiding something; like a boyfriend, or a yeast infection, or a penis, or the fact that she’s a crap lay.
To Protect and Serve
[…] Hi, Emergency? Remember I called four hours ago because a crazy guy busted into my place and told me his cat Elmo said I was gonna kill him? Well, after we grappled for a while, it turned out that Elmo was right after all.
Up the Academy
[…] I’m a walking body bag. If my body’s a temple, it’s the Temple of Doom. There’s even a little bald dude in there that rips out chicks’ hearts.
My Bloody Valentine
[…] I used to make a practice of littering my personal information around in the hopes of having my identity stolen. My identity hasn’t been doing me much good and if some Nigerian con ring wants to assume the insurmountable debt and FBI record, they’re welcome to it.
Dirty-Knuckled Playground Bully
[…] As one who appreciates help in being directed to things I may enjoy, I am saddened to know that I can no longer find this help on Amazon, unless fool enough to accept guidance from people that watch Grey’s Anatomy. […]
Party Like It’s 2011
[…] I don’t carry a phone because it makes it too easy for the sleeper cells I infiltrate to zero in on my location after I’ve sabotaged their operations. This always makes chicks both impressed and afraid for my safety.
